Of Statues and Idols

It's been a while since I last updated here on my health and the journey that I've been on, so today's the day to do that!

I have kept my commitment to stay away from Taco Bell, but I have eaten at McDonald's 3 times since December 30th, due to traveling, etc.

I ended my experiment from July to not eat out, but we have continued to try to limit our dining out to once or twice per week, particularly as a family.  My guys eat out together as a routine business thing on Mondays, and I may do it once during the week.  It's amazing how much money we've saved and have been able to use for other things.

I had blood work done a couple of weeks ago, and the greatest news EVER is that my A1C is now in the normal range!  I'm no longer pre-diabetic, THANK YOU, JESUS!  I have been so excited about that, you don't even know!

I still have work to do on my cholesterol, but that's something that I'll probably struggle with because it's hereditary.

My weight, on the other hand, is the highest it's EVER been in my entire life, 263.4 on Sunday, October 23rd.

I cannot seem to get a handle on getting my eating back under control.  I've tried to evaluate my life, my schedule, my shopping...

I've taken time to evaluate everything except my HEART.  Probably because I already know that THERE IN lies the problem.

I recently had the wonderful opportunity to visit New York City, something I hadn't done since I was a teenager way back in 1981.

I captured these pictures of the beautiful Statue of Liberty.

Did you know that the Statue is 305 ft tall from the base to the flame?

That's how big I feel this idol of food has become in my life.

I often vacillate between feeling overwhelmed by this "burden," and feeling like King Kong, larger than life itself and able to conquer anything.

There are days that I swear I cannot get out of bed because the weight of this "thing" has me buried.  I can't breathe, I can't think, I honestly cannot take another step because I'm exhausted from fighting.

I have all the answers to any question I could ever have on how to eat right, how to exercise, how and what to prepare, shopping lists, books, dvd's, resources out the ying-yang!

It isn't a head knowledge problem.

It keeps going back to my heart.

I'm less than 3 years away from being 50 years old, and almost daily I ask myself, 

"When are you going to grow up?  When are you going to be a mature adult and do the right thing?"  

Because, honestly, it is a choice I make to not exercise.

It is a choice I make to eat sugar and carbs.

I make the decision to not purchase the healthy snack options.

Really, sin is a choice. 

Because after all, scripture is explicitly clear when it says in James 4:17, 

"Remember, it is a sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it." (NLT)

Today is November 1st, a new month, again, and I'm thinking about starting over, again, like so many times this past year.  But today is different somehow, because I've learned a lot over this past year about myself, and I feel more ready.

I had a dream last night in which I was talking to one of our pastors that preached this past Sunday, and I told him, "I feel like the past 10 years my brain has been a giant puzzle, trying to figure out who I am in Christ, what my position is as a believer, how God sees me as His child, and today it felt like the last piece of that puzzle got put into place." 

And that thought has stayed with me all day today.  I DO feel like something has clicked; some pieces finally came together about how I have been viewing God as my father, and using food as a substitute for comfort and security.  I don't quite have a handle on it all, but something has definitely changed.

And so I begin this month of thankfulness feeling grateful for what God is trying to teach me, thankful for His answer to my prayer that I wouldn't become diabetic, blessed with the loving support of my husband and children and countless friends who desire God's best for me, overwhelmed with the amazing church family and pastors that He has given that never cease to speak the truth to me in love, who are faithful to preach God's word and call sin "sin."  

I confess my rebellious heart to God and to all that read this, and repent of my sin, asking for God's help in turning away from this idol of food, idol of control, idol of fear and lack of trust in God's provision for me.

And I take a new step into letting go...again.  

Scared, but excited.  Nervous, but ready.  Trembling, but trusting.

Clinging to the promise, "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Jesus Christ." Philippians 1:6 (NIV)

"Let's Eat! But first, take a picture!"

So, I've traveled a lot lately and had a chance to taste some amazing food.  Of course, I always have to take a picture.  And I thought I'd share those here.

Kenya has a wonderful thing they call "chapati."  Similar to a tortilla crossed with Indian fry bread, it is amazing!

We ate lots of rice and beans in Kenya!  Rice is one of their "staples," along with something called "Ugali," which would be similar to our grits, only thicker, and then is cut into slices.

Chai!  Every afternoon we would "take tea."  It is delicious.

We threw a surprise birthday party for our team leader while in Kenya, and it was the kids' first time to have hot dogs, which they called "sausages."  Very fun to teach them how to eat them with ketchup and mustard.

This is the Kenyan version of cheese puffs, only they don't taste like cheese at all.  They're vegetable flavors, and without the nasty high fructose corn syrup that is in EVERYTHING that we have in America.  They have a very different taste than what I was used to or expecting.

A black forest cake from a local bakery.  Very delicious.  Not overly sweet.  Kenyans don't eat a lot of sweet things, which is awesome!  

We picnicked with chicken and fries one day.

And I had my first roasted goat!  They boiled it first, then grilled it, called "choma," meaning "roasted meat."  It was different.  Such a great experience.

In New York City, I enjoyed a place called "Sugar and Plumm," where we had these Lemon Ricotta pancakes for dessert.

This was my "Plumm Burger," which was ground chuck, blue cheese, jalapeno jelly, baby arugula and bacon.  Beyond yum!

Does it get any better than New York cheesecake from Junior's in Times Square?

Authentic New York pizza at the Staten Island Ferry.

Serendippity 3 has always been a place I wanted to visit, and I was thrilled we got to go.

They're famous for their Frozen Hot Chocolate, which is amazing!

My cousin got this 3 scoop hot fudge sundae, which was the best hot fudge I've ever tasted.

Chicken chili nacho appetizer to help with all the sweetness.

And my cousin's boyfriend got the "Bi-Sensual Burger," a beef patty topped with bacon, cheddar, chili, raw onion, lettuce, pickle, and tomato.  It was insane!

My pre-Broadway meal was a NY Hot Pastrami sandwich, which was something totally new for me.  I'd never had pastrami before, but it was very good.

I had my first visit to a New Jersey diner, attending a birthday party there, and had great Thanksgiving food.  Diners are EVERYWHERE in New Jersey!

And the day we left, I got to experience THESE bagels...oh, my!  Let's just say that Panera has NO clue how to make a bagel.  I brought some home and enjoyed them for breakfast for 3 days in a row.  

And so, there you have it, my food travel journal.  I didn't get pictures of the yummy Garrett's popcorn we had in the Chicago airport, or the best eggplant parm that my wonderful Italian friend made for us in New Jersey, but I think we covered everything else. 

You got to enjoy it without gaining any weight!!

I, on the other hand, need to head to the gym!