Sunday, January 1, 2017

New...


It's January 1st, the first day of a new week, new month, new year!!!!

I love it when a new month starts on a Sunday, but to also have a new year begin on the first day of the week just seems perfect.  Like I've just gotten a brand new note book or journal and cracked open the pages and stuck my nose in there to smell the freshness of NEW paper!!!  
Anybody else enjoy that?!

Hallerin Hilton Hill, a local radio show host, always begins his show saying, 
"Today is a BRAND NEW DAY!  It's a blank canvas.  If you will it so, it can be your masterpiece."  

So, where do you find yourself today?  Or maybe last night?  Making a list of resolutions?  Or plans, things to change, things that need fixing or organized?  

Was weight loss on the list?  Exercise?  Dieting of some kind?

I'm approaching the new year full of mixed emotions.  

Today, I weighed the most I've ever weighed in my entire life!

268.8 lbs!
(I have a picture to prove it, I'll send it to you if you want!)

It was depressing to see those numbers there this morning.  
I've undone everything that I worked hard for from January to June last year, which is when I began gaining weight.  I've put on 30 POUNDS in the last 6 MONTHS!

I'm ashamed, embarrassed, wanting to hide and never ever speak to anyone again.

But also I realize that those feelings have very much contributed to the weight gain.  The desire to hide, to wallow in shame, to run from God because of that shame...all those things have driven me to food.

There are a million reasons to be discouraged, and yet I find myself reaching up out of the pit of sin that I've been stuck in for 6 months and longing for Christ to pick me up and carry me out.
There is no life here. 
 No light. 
 No hope.  
And I need those things to survive.  
We all do!

Someone mentioned to me this week that I have no idea how much of an inspiration and encouragement I've been to them through this blog and my response was, 
"Ha!  I've certainly not been inspiring lately!"  
But my desire is to always point people who struggle to Jesus, who is the PERFECT example of inspiration and the ULTIMATE encouragement!

We sang this song in church today (scroll over the link and click on it to go to the video), and I want to post it with the hope that it will bless you to remember, as we begin 2017 with NO IDEA what is ahead, that Christ is before us, Christ is behind us, His loving kindness has NEVER failed us!


I'm committing to healthy eating once again (food prep began yesterday and continues into today!), to blogging more, to going to the gym consistently beginning tomorrow morning, and to not hiding from friends and Jesus, as if I could!

Bring on 2017!!!