An Ounce of Prevention...

Today, on this frigid February day, I'm sitting in the surgery waiting room for the second time in 2 weeks, waiting on my father as he has another minor operation.  Today it's plastic surgery to deal with a very large hole that is on the bottom of his foot.

This particular "injury" began nearly 2 years ago and is the result of diabetes.  The bones in his feet have softened and had actually broken and come THROUGH the bottom of his foot, but he didn't realize it because he has almost no feeling in his feet and legs, due to nerve damage from the diabetes.

All of this to say that it COULD have been avoided, had he only taken his health seriously nearly 30 years ago when he was first told he was PRE-diabetic.

Where have I heard those words "pre-diabetic" before?  Oh yeah, just this past October, from my nutritionist.

Which brings me to TODAY when I'm struggling with mixed feelings about this WHOLE ordeal, both my father's AND mine!

I don't want to be the patient, lying on the surgery table; scheduling multiple doctor's appointments; remembering to take 23 prescriptions every day; going for dialysis 3x's a week.

I don't want to get to age 66 and not be able to stay awake through a conversation or go out of town to see my grandkids.

And just when I'm ready to give up and say, "Screw this stupid way of eating...give me some chips and chocolate!" I remember this feeling I'm having right now, which is FRUSTRATION!

The myriad of "If only's" come flooding into my mind. 

The questions of "Why didn't he?" play over and over in my mind.

And I don't want to have to look at my husband and sons and say, "You weren't worth it to me." 

Now, my father has NEVER said that to me or my brother, but his actions say it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

So, my prayer today is that God would bring healing to my father's foot, and that he will not lose it.

And my prayer for myself is to surrender my heart to the Lord again.  Which is a DAILY process. 

Because that "ounce of prevention is WORTH a POUND of cure!"

My Healthy Valentine

Holidays are challenging, and even a "small" holiday like Valentine's Day can be a killer to the eating plan...if you let it.

 

This particular holiday seems to be centered around candy, especially chocolate. 

Which I'm in LOVE with!!!

 

I wanted to take the time to make this day special, but I also didn't want to sabotage myself from meeting that birthday goal I talked about yesterday, so here's what our celebration dinner looked like:

 

I baked some 4 oz. salmon fillets, sautéed some frozen green beans, steamed and mashed cauliflower into mock mashed potatoes, added a cucumber to bagged salad, and splurged with ONE King's Hawaiian roll with no butter.  My tarter sauce I made with Hellman's Balsamic Mayo and relish that is sweetened with Splenda.

 

Now, for dessert I made these for myself...but I was willing to share with everyone! 

 

 

I melted my Ghirardelli 60% Cacao bittersweet chocolate chips with a small spoonful of coconut oil in the microwave and then dipped my strawberries in there and put them in the fridge until we were ready for dessert.  So very yummy!  I had 3 of them over the course of the evening.

 

And so, we enjoyed each other's company, had a very relaxing dinner by candlelight; the guys even were willing to watch a "chick flick" with me after dinner!  And there was absolutely ZERO guilt in this holiday dinner.

 

Which left me with BIG smiles!!!

 

Setting Goals

Typically, I'm not a goal-oriented person.  If you talk to the one who knows me best, "he" would tell you that I'm more of a "last-minute-fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants" kinda girl!  And he's right!

When company's coming, I usually wait until the day of their arrival, and then do what he calls "The Flight of the Bumblebee" type house cleaning!!!

Hey, it keeps life interesting.  :)

But in this journey of weight loss and health, I've found that setting goals is helpful.  Even if they're small.  Because, let's face it, looking at yourself in the mirror and knowing, after that one pound loss, you still have 99 pounds to go, is a little overwhelming!!!

So, now that I've reached into the 230's, and since today is ONE MONTH away from my birthday, I'm setting a small goal for myself of being at 229 on March 13th.

Kind of a birthday gift to myself.

So, is it possible for me to lose 10 pounds in one month?

I'm not sure, but I can tell you that I'm most definitely going to try!!!

Old Habits and Major Breakthroughs

Since I last blogged, I can honestly say it's been a TERIBBLE time in my weight loss journey.

I have learned that the old adage is true, "Old habits die hard!"

I am a stress eater...and the last couple of weeks have been filled to the brim with stress.  And hospitals.  And vending machines at that hospital.  And poor choices.

But guess what?!  I survived, relatively unscathed...maybe a little bit messed up from the Coke and the crackers, the stop at the drive-thru on the way home, but overall, I recovered.

And I've learned something about myself.

I am stronger than I think!

Which leads me to the second half of the blog title:  "Major Breakthroughs."

I've been struggling with my weight for just about my whole life; most definitely since I was 15 years old.  And trust me, that was a LONG time ago!

For approximately the last 10 years, I have lost and gained the same 15-20 pounds over and over.  Always I could get down to 240 pounds and I just couldn't go any lower than that.  In fact, it was 1997 when I took Phen-Fen and lost 40 pounds and got down to 200.  Then I got pregnant, gained 46 pounds and never lost it again!  So for many, many years I've been struggling to break through that window of the 240's into anything lower!

It always seemed like there was a wall, a definite barrier that satan himself had set up against me.  Seriously, I know it sounds stupid, but I mean it...the enemy of my soul also was the enemy of my body!  Every time I would come close, it seemed like something would hit me, and I would be stressed and eating and that number would escape me!  Constant sabotage of myself.  It was insane!

A few weeks ago, I was on a mission to reach 239 before I went to see my son graduate from Army Basic Training.  On the morning that we left, I was 240.2.  Yes, I was disappointed.  But I knew I was close.

And then the trip happened, which went great, as far as eating goes.  But there's something about travel that messes with your body.  And I saw the scales go up.

And then a stressful situation within the family, and I found myself off my eating plan and just plowing through the bag of chips.  And I saw the scales go up.

Enter that wonderful "time of the month" and I have an uncontrollable urge for chocolate.  And I saw the scales keep going up.

Needless to say, I was discouraged.  But thank God for Christian people that are walking me through this 8 week program at the doctor's office.  We spent some time in prayer together for us to all get back on track, and that was so helpful for me.

I decided right then and there that I needed to recommit myself, my heart, and my fork to the Lord and go back to the strict 14 day plan.  And it has been super-helpful!

Which brings me to this morning, to when I stepped on the scales and they said, "239.6!"  And I called my husband to come into the bathroom to verify what they said, just in case I wasn't reading them correctly! :)

And I feel like a HUGE victory has been won; a wall torn down; a barrier broken!!!!  Which gives me the confidence to keep pressing on, keep focused.  And reach the NEXT weight "bracket."

220's, HERE I COME!!!!