I did want to clarify that this journey has not meant that I've not eaten out at all. I HAVE eaten at Subway a few times, and at a local place here called Cook Out where I like to take my low carb pita and place the hamburger and toppings inside that. I've also been to Chick-Fil-A and absolutely LOVE their Super Food Salad with grilled nuggets on it.
So, I do not feel that I've been deprived at all. Making good choices is exactly that...a CHOICE. There are certain places where I feel like I can eat as healthy there as I can at home. There are other places that I just know I should totally stay away from! Like Pizza Hut. Man, how I dearly love pizza. But I can never stop at just one slice, so it's just not good for me to go into that place.
Over the last 90 days, I've been able to consistently work out, and have an amazing partner that is right there with me, 3 days a week, at 6:30 in the morning, cheering me on, or yelling, or whatever it takes to get me motivated!!! And my boys, Justin (who writes out all our workouts) and Clayton, and my husband are my biggest fans. They are faithfully at the gym every single time with me! What more can you ask than for the entire family to be working out together?! I mean, seriously, how often does that happen? And yet that's my reality.
But the weight loss has been slow. Very slow. And I've been discouraged and wanted to quit. Lots of days I just really think, "This is useless, stupid, not worth it!"
And I was feeling like that over the weekend, when the scales said that I'd stayed the same. Again. But then I walked past my fridge and caught a glimpse of a photo that I have on there from 10 years ago. Back before I really cared. Before my heart was interested in giving this struggle to the Lord. Really before I even knew how deep this sin went in my life. And I posted the photo as a "throwback Thursday" thing on my Facebook page.
Then a friend suggested that I take a current photo and place them together. So I had a friend snap a picture on Easter Sunday, and I put them together on Instagram...
So, if a picture is worth 1,000 words, then THESE 2 pictures represent at LEAST 2,000 things that I've said out loud or whispered to myself.
Every single day I struggle with being tired of fighting this battle! When I wake up in the morning, the first thing that I have to think about is what I'm going to eat. As someone who is addicted to food, that is almost more than I can bear!
Food.
Constant thoughts about food.
Make menus.
Shop.
Prepare.
Put away.
Choices.
Recipes.
Budget.
Breakfast.
Snack.
Lunch.
Snack.
Dinner.
It's a daily, hourly, minute-by-minute "thorn in the flesh" that becomes overwhelming in a HURRY.
There is no "spur of the moment" allowance to a friend's request of "let's have lunch." You have to plan and prep and be strategic in every single detail.
And it gets exhausting.
But seeing these photos side by side has renewed my commitment to stay the course.
Ten YEARS is a long time to be battling something, anything. But I have to remember how far God has brought me. Lots of tears. Lots of push ups and squats. Lots of failures. Lots of accomplishments. A lot of learning!
So, here's to day 90 of a countless number of many more days to come.
God is Good.
All the time.
