Coming Out of the Darkness

It's been 7 months since my Dad passed.

And I'm not the same.  I'm not even sure that I ever will be.

There have been so many challenges, so much "stuff" to go through, both physically and emotionally.

I've gained weight.  A LOT of weight.  Like 18 pounds in 7 months.

I have eaten to numb pain, to mask anger, to find peace.

I've been to the doctor and been prescribed anti-depressants.  I took them, and then quit.

The diagnosis of "Binge Eating Disorder" (or B.E.D. as it's called in the medical world) has been given.  Along with medication to start helping, and an appointment made with a psychiatrist to come on November 30th. (More about the disorder/meds/doctor later)

So, lots has gone on.

But through all these things, I've had ONE constant desire: I want to be whole!  I want to feel like "me" again!

And so I sit here and start to put it all down on the screen for the world to see as a first step in that process of beginning again.

And that's what I'm doing; beginning.  Again.  Today.