Summer Travel Challenges

We are planning a trip to Indiana later this week, and while I'm excited to see some family and friends that I haven't seen in about 3 years, I'm also a little nervous about the eating part of the whole thing.

I know that I can make "decent" choices while we travel up and back...it's just a matter of finding the right symbols on the exit signs. :)

The problem comes when we arrive at our destination.  We're going to a church camp, which means eating in a cafeteria, which boils down to CARB CITY! :)  You know, mashed potatoes, noodles, dumplings, biscuits & gravy, fried this and fried that!  Not to mention the snack shop that is filled with ice cream bars, candy, nachos, and the like!

I will not have access to a refrigerator, but we will have a small cooler with us.  I need your suggestions on how to stay on track while I'm there.  Remember that I'm needing to keep my carb intake to a minimum (60 grams or less), and I won't be able to take things that need to be frozen or kept really cold.

I can't wait to hear your suggestions!

5 Days, 5 Pounds

Nothing major to blog about today, just trying to get back into the habit of posting.

I began "again" on Monday, failed miserably, and began "again" on Tuesday.

And here it is, Friday afternoon, and it's been a fairly good week.

When you have been eating a lot of sugar, drinking lots of carbonated sugary drinks, taking in massive amounts of carbs, the first bit of weight comes off pretty easily.

So when I say that I'm down 5 pounds, I understand that isn't going to be the "norm."  Trust me; I've been on enough diets to know that losing 4,5,10 pounds a week is NOT sustainable!

But it's 5 pounds; that's HALF of the 10 that I've put on since my Dad passed away in April.

Has it been easy to get back into the groove?  No.

But here are a few things that have helped:

1.  Getting rid of the Cokes from in the house.  I can't even have diet drinks around here.  I'm just too crazy.

2.  Staying home more.  I find if I run into town too often (I live in a rural community; some would say "the boonies!), I get into trouble because that's where ALL the major fast food restaurants are!

3.  Getting back to planning and pre-packaging my food.

4.  Exercising; I reactivated my gym membership this week.

5.  Drinking more water.  I cannot stress how important this is to my body, personally.

So, that's my top 5 changes that have been made around here this week.  And the results show up on the scale.

However, I'm not ruled by that scale.  Even if I never step foot on it another day, I can still know that I'm having results just by the way I feel, by my overall attitude, and by my increase in energy levels. My sleep is better at night, I'm not fighting the urge to nap in the afternoon, and my depression is WAY down to what it had been!

So, here's to healthy changes!  And now I'm off to swim with my friends! :)

Happy Weekend!

Fighting Against Freedom

Today's sermon was so poignant for me..."Without the Shedding of Blood" was the title, based on the verses from Hebrews 9:15-22.

The final worship song was this one.  As we were standing there singing, I was given a vision of what's been going on in my life.

Every sin, EVERY SINGLE sin, was nailed to the cross of Christ.  Even my sin of overeating.  Christ's death on the cross secured the victory for me over this sin.  I have been given freedom, been set FREE from every piece of bondage that this sin would have over me. 

But I don't live like it.

I had the vision of being at the cross, climbing up a ladder with a pry bar, determined to remove my sin from the cross.  I'm covered in the blood of Christ that is flowing down from His body hanging on the Cross, which ironically gives me life, but I'm only bent on taking that sin down and continuing to carry it with me.

I have written about being scared of freedom before, in November.

And so I continue to live in fear; to have the audacity to say that the cross was not enough.  Christ's death and resurrection gave me everything, EVERTHING I need to live and walk in victory.  Yet I continue to refuse to believe it.

Why do we do this?  Why do I do this?  I haven't fully figured it out, but I do know that this is the "soft underbelly" of my life.  And the enemy knows this, and uses it to sidetrack me, to distract me, to trip me up, and keep me feeling down and discouraged and reverting back to old habits.

I don't want to live like this anymore. 

It isn't living. 

It's death; slow, painful, and unnecessary for a child of God.

Tears flowed. 

I repented.

Again.

And I am determined to seek the help of the Holy Spirit to make this change in my life.  To live like I have been set free! 


Life is offered.  Freedom has been granted.  Sin has been conquered.  And my victory is just waiting for me to step out and receive it.

Clawing my way out....

It's been 2.5 months since my last post, and even as I sit on the couch typing this, my heart is racing and I have anxious feelings inside.

I love the "Anne of Green Gables" movies, and the best way to describe how I feel is a quote from Anne Shirley...I've fallen into "the depths of despair."

Really; I haven't known as much darkness as I've faced over the last 2 months.  Sometimes you think that when you bury someone, all the "stuff" that went along with relationship to the person is buried as well.  But it's not.

I feel like so many, many things just surfaced after my Dad's death.  Things I either didn't want to deal with or had no idea were there.

My sleep is attacked with horrible nightmares and disturbing dreams.  Many nights I'm awakened by my own sobs as I struggle out of the scary places in those dreams.

My precious husband is beside himself to know what else to do for me, as he prays over me, checks on me to the point of driving me crazy.

And so today, on the first day of a new month, I'm climbing, clawing my way out of this dark tunnel.  I climbed onto the scales this morning and find that awful number of 249...that's 10 pounds that have found their way back onto my body.

I have found myself sabotaging like NEVER before.  Thoughts of being undeserving to live, not being worth taking care of, what's the point to try to be healthy?, all these things have taken over my brain and my body.

And honestly, I don't even feel strong enough to jump back into the "health game" today, but I know I have to start somewhere.

So, I post today, and ask, unashamedly, for your prayers, for your support, for your encouragement.  I MUST do this to save my own life.  Christ calls me to.