Looking Into a Crystal Ball

It's been 10 days since my birthday...10 days of feeling like Marty McFly and I've just returned from the future!

If you follow me on Facebook then you already know that I've been dealing with my father and his health crisis.  And I've done a post about my feelings on that whole thing in recent days.  But I wanted to update you on how it's all be affecting me.

Changing the way you eat is never easy.  I mean, really; you not only have to UN-learn all the things that you know, and then RE-learn all this new stuff. 
And you need to be organized.
And you have to be prepared for anything.
Plus you have to remember to eat 6 times a day.

Toss all that out the window when you start dealing with an aging parent that is making hospital visits, going into (and back out of) a rehab facility, multiple doctor's appointments, numerous phone calls...
Not to mention that I still have a family that needs taken care of.
AND did I tell you that I'm supposed to be homeschooling my 10th grader?!

Can I just sum this all up and spell it out for you?  D-R-I-V-E     T-H-R-U    W-I-N-D-O-W

Yeah, that's about the long and short of it for the last 10 days.

But that brings me to another point that I really wanted to talk about...this "looking into the crystal ball of my future" idea.

As I have been sitting in my Dad's hospital room, or in his nursing home room, or with him at the table in the nursing home dining room, and seeing him decline in health, yet continue to ask me to bring him pizza or hamburgers, or cake (all the wrong things), I couldn't help but feel like I'm looking into a mirror of what I can expect to look like in 20 years...IF things don't turn around.

It's serious, people.  I can sit and say, "Oh, it's just awful that he doesn't care and wants to keep eating all the wrong things and look where it's gotten him," but then on the way home, I drive through the McDonald's and get fries and a milkshake.  Or stop at the convenience store and get a candy bar and hide the wrapper from my husband.  Or order a pizza because I'm just too tired to cook.

And the sin that I'm committing is different HOW?  I'm continuing to choose to NOT take care of my body, yet I'm condemning my Dad for making wrong choices from his hospital bed?  Can we talk about splinters and beams?! :)

And so I, once again, go back to the Lord with my sinful, REBELLIOUS heart!  And I ask Him, once again, to forgive me, and CHANGE me!

And I, once again, repent and recommit to living a healthy life, of resisting the temptation to turn to FOOD for my source of comfort, when I know that is idolatry.

Because I don't want to be the 66 year old laying in a hospital bed, surrounded by family, and making them have to think about a future without me WAY TOO SOON!  But I WILL BE that person if I don't do something NOW.

There's still time. 

Happy Birthday to Me!

 

I had set a goal for myself to be in the 220's by my birthday today.  I didn't make it.  I'm still the same weight as I was one month ago.  But I've learned a LOT about myself in that amount of time.

 

1.  I am a stress eater.  This doesn't come as a huge surprise.  But it has become even MORE apparent in this time that I've been walking through some health issues with my father.

 

2.  I HAVE to be organized, or my whole world falls apart.  It's a fact that I cannot function by the seat of my pants, as much as I would LIKE to...it just doesn't work.

 

3.  Eating the wrong things for the wrong reasons gives me the wrong results!  I cannot, for the life of me, understand why I think that pizza will taste good because it's already made and quick to pick up on the way home. " It does not satisfy.  Ever.  Try to remember that!"  And I am always frustrated when I get on the scales the next morning and they show a gain.  Go figure!  I should've known it would happen.

 

But this is a new year.  And another opportunity to learn NEW lessons and make NEW choices that will take me down a different path that leads to the places I want to go.  Like good health.  Better blood work results.  Smaller clothing sizes.  More room on the couch.  Less use of pain killers.

 

So, while I may not have hit those numbers today, I'm still treading the path towards them, still working out, still doing my best to make the right choices.

 

Do I get it right every time?  NO.  In fact, I don't get it right MOST of the time.  But I'm striving.  I haven't given up.  And the GIFT of perseverance is a GREAT birthday present to myself!

A Few of My Favorite Things

Totally changing the way we eat requires just a little bit of an adventure into new isles in the grocery store, new products to try, different cooking methods, and an assortment of trials and errors.

 

So I thought I'd show you a few of the things that I've grown to love, things I MUST have on hand, things I just don't think I could live without!

 

Up first...

 

This is my water glass!  I take it everywhere.  It's like an extension of my arm these days. I actually own 2 of them exactly alike!  It's a 24 oz. Tervis and I do my best to fill it up a minimum of 4 times a day.  My daily goal is to have the second refill finished by lunchtime.  Yes.  I go to the bathroom A LOT! :)

 

 

I absolutely LOVE these tortillas!  They're the best low carb ones I've found, and believe me, I've tried about 8 different brands!  They're soft, they wrap without splitting, and they have an incredible taste!  I get them at Wal Mart in the bread section.

 

 

These pitas are GREAT...at only 4 net carbs for the WHOLE thing, it really makes you  feel great to have something to put your "stuff" in.  I typically cut them in half, which gives me less carbs, and makes them last longer. I take them with me when we go out to eat burgers and order the "low carb" version.  I even have converted my husband into taking them in his lunch instead of bread!  They are also thick enough to use for pizza crust.  I buy them at Wal Mart in the deli section.

 

 

Ok, what's not to love about chocolate and peanut butter?  Huh?!  These things are super-handy to toss into your purse, your gym bag, whatever, and you've got an instant back up plan if you get caught out past your meal time.  They have 10 g. of protein and only 9 net carbs.  You can buy them at the grocery store, but BE SURE they say "Protein" on the box and not just your average granola bar.  I got this big box at Sam's Club yesterday.  They also sell these at Costco.

 

 

Nuts!!!  We're NUTS about NUTS at this house!!!  Almonds and pistachios are our favorites, but we really haven't met a nut we don't enjoy.  The cocoa dusted almonds are one of my favorite things when I need that little "something" after a meal, or have a craving for chocolate but don't want to totally blow the "plan."  I also always keep a little solo 2 oz. serving cup of almonds in my purse.  The salt and pepper pistachios are from Costco, the other 2 we got at Sam's club.  Typically I buy them at Aldi's, but we happened to see these yesterday when we were in Knoxville.  You can NEVER have too many nuts...but that's just my opinion! ;)

 

 

My new friend.  I love the way it smells, I love the health benefits it offers, I love that if I get some on my hands I can just rub them together and not try to wash it off!  It's awesome.

 

 

Sometimes, when I'm drinking all that water, I get tired of just the plain water.  So I'll add a little bit of this in for a special treat.  It DOES have carbs, though, so I have to be sure to save room for this. 

 

 

I am in LOVE with these little things.  Now, typically I'm not a tomato lover unless it's a homegrown tomato on a sandwich of white bread and mayo!  But these.  Oh goodness, these things are so awesome.  Got them at Costco. 

 

 

Now, ideally, I need to be eating "grass fed" beef, but when I can't afford it or can't find it, this is my go-to hamburger.  Organic does NOT mean grass fed.  But it is better than the other stuff you'd pick up, full of yucky unknowns.  Costco sells this.

 

 

This salad!!!  People!  It's amazing!  It says 7 Superfoods, but I leave out the dried cranberries and pumpkin seeds and add in those cherry tomatoes that I love and a few almonds. :)  It tastes so good, and there's just something special about knowing that this GOOD tasting salad is also SO GOOD for me!  I got it at Costco, and I wish I'd gotten 2 bags of it!

 

 

I love having this kind of salad mix around.  It is pre-washed, it isn't just spinach so it has a great flavor, and it's so convenient for us to just grab and toss a salad together. 

 

 

So, there you have it!!!  A photo blog of some of the favorites at this house!  Let me know what your favorite things are. :)  I'm always up to trying something at LEAST once.

 

 

 

 

New Month - New Mercies

Yesterday was the first day of a new month and a new week, and I am ever-so-glad to see it come.  These past 2 weeks have brought all kinds of crazy, nasty weather, cold temperatures, bad roads, caused us to be homebound, and my husband had only worked 2 days out the last 14!

 

Which meant the money for groceries just wasn't there; so we ate out of the deep freeze and the emergency overstock in the basement pantry.  Not a lot of fresh fruit and veggies there.

 

I was up on the scales, and down on myself.

 

So yesterday was a day of recommitment for me.  On Saturday, I "borrowed" money from another envelope to go to the grocery store, since we had a forecast that promised some working weather!  And I got all the things I needed to get back on this low carb eating.

 

It's amazing how quickly the weight can come back ON, and yet is so reluctant to leave!  Quite frustrating, actually.

 

But it has to be done.  I do not like the way I was feeling over the last 2 weeks.  The lack of energy was unbelievable.  And my joints popped and cracked like a bag of fireworks!

 

My gym membership has also expired, and with no part-time job like I had last year to pay for it, I had to get creative.  So, while we were snowed in, we made a little workout station at the house, with the treadmill as the center piece, and all my little kettle bell weights and stability ball, yoga mat, and a few other things. 

I also moved my motivation board out of my bedroom and into my little home gym. 

It's what I see when I'm up on the treadmill.

I tried it out on Friday, and I think it's going to work just fine for me to do the exercising at home!  Which will save me a monthly fee and the cost of fuel.

 

Now the real issue is going to be "Will I USE it?"  It's just CRAZY how easily I become distracted and put off exercising, but I am pleading with the Lord to give me a drive to commit to this!  It can ONLY come from him, because I've already blogged about how much I hate to exercise!

 

And that's why I'm thankful for His mercies...they are NEW EVERY MORNING.  Which works out great for me, because I have to renew my commitment to this healthy lifestyle EVERY MORNING!

An Ounce of Prevention...

Today, on this frigid February day, I'm sitting in the surgery waiting room for the second time in 2 weeks, waiting on my father as he has another minor operation.  Today it's plastic surgery to deal with a very large hole that is on the bottom of his foot.

This particular "injury" began nearly 2 years ago and is the result of diabetes.  The bones in his feet have softened and had actually broken and come THROUGH the bottom of his foot, but he didn't realize it because he has almost no feeling in his feet and legs, due to nerve damage from the diabetes.

All of this to say that it COULD have been avoided, had he only taken his health seriously nearly 30 years ago when he was first told he was PRE-diabetic.

Where have I heard those words "pre-diabetic" before?  Oh yeah, just this past October, from my nutritionist.

Which brings me to TODAY when I'm struggling with mixed feelings about this WHOLE ordeal, both my father's AND mine!

I don't want to be the patient, lying on the surgery table; scheduling multiple doctor's appointments; remembering to take 23 prescriptions every day; going for dialysis 3x's a week.

I don't want to get to age 66 and not be able to stay awake through a conversation or go out of town to see my grandkids.

And just when I'm ready to give up and say, "Screw this stupid way of eating...give me some chips and chocolate!" I remember this feeling I'm having right now, which is FRUSTRATION!

The myriad of "If only's" come flooding into my mind. 

The questions of "Why didn't he?" play over and over in my mind.

And I don't want to have to look at my husband and sons and say, "You weren't worth it to me." 

Now, my father has NEVER said that to me or my brother, but his actions say it EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.

So, my prayer today is that God would bring healing to my father's foot, and that he will not lose it.

And my prayer for myself is to surrender my heart to the Lord again.  Which is a DAILY process. 

Because that "ounce of prevention is WORTH a POUND of cure!"

My Healthy Valentine

Holidays are challenging, and even a "small" holiday like Valentine's Day can be a killer to the eating plan...if you let it.

 

This particular holiday seems to be centered around candy, especially chocolate. 

Which I'm in LOVE with!!!

 

I wanted to take the time to make this day special, but I also didn't want to sabotage myself from meeting that birthday goal I talked about yesterday, so here's what our celebration dinner looked like:

 

I baked some 4 oz. salmon fillets, sautéed some frozen green beans, steamed and mashed cauliflower into mock mashed potatoes, added a cucumber to bagged salad, and splurged with ONE King's Hawaiian roll with no butter.  My tarter sauce I made with Hellman's Balsamic Mayo and relish that is sweetened with Splenda.

 

Now, for dessert I made these for myself...but I was willing to share with everyone! 

 

 

I melted my Ghirardelli 60% Cacao bittersweet chocolate chips with a small spoonful of coconut oil in the microwave and then dipped my strawberries in there and put them in the fridge until we were ready for dessert.  So very yummy!  I had 3 of them over the course of the evening.

 

And so, we enjoyed each other's company, had a very relaxing dinner by candlelight; the guys even were willing to watch a "chick flick" with me after dinner!  And there was absolutely ZERO guilt in this holiday dinner.

 

Which left me with BIG smiles!!!

 

Setting Goals

Typically, I'm not a goal-oriented person.  If you talk to the one who knows me best, "he" would tell you that I'm more of a "last-minute-fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants" kinda girl!  And he's right!

When company's coming, I usually wait until the day of their arrival, and then do what he calls "The Flight of the Bumblebee" type house cleaning!!!

Hey, it keeps life interesting.  :)

But in this journey of weight loss and health, I've found that setting goals is helpful.  Even if they're small.  Because, let's face it, looking at yourself in the mirror and knowing, after that one pound loss, you still have 99 pounds to go, is a little overwhelming!!!

So, now that I've reached into the 230's, and since today is ONE MONTH away from my birthday, I'm setting a small goal for myself of being at 229 on March 13th.

Kind of a birthday gift to myself.

So, is it possible for me to lose 10 pounds in one month?

I'm not sure, but I can tell you that I'm most definitely going to try!!!