Dreaming....

Sometimes I find myself day dreaming, and lately my day dreams consist of those things that will be "possible" when I've lost weight.  Things that I've missed that other people take for granted.

 

Things like this:

I have NEVER weighed less than my husband.  He's never been able to pick me up and carry me around.  I've never been able to wear his shirts or had him offer me his jacket and be able to wear it.  And that is hard to live with. 

 

But I'm dreaming about the day that it will happen!

It bothers me that I have to shop in the plus size department.  And those styles aren't always cute.  More like clothes from a tent factory, a lot of times.  I want to shop in the "regular" department, to be able to choose from the cute stuff.  To put together outfits like these and be able to find something to wear in ANY store I walk into!

 

I'm working on it!

We don't go on vacation...at least not anything "planned" and saved for.  We make trips to see family up north, and that's about it.  One of the reasons I stay away from vacation spots like the beach is pretty self-explanatory, don't ya think?!  I don't have any desire for a "bikini body" but I do desire to be comfortable at the beach!  I dream about that.

 

And it will come!

Now, I understand that these are all MATERIAL things; things that are simplistic, surface stuff that shouldn't matter, but THEY DO, doggone it!  I'm being serious...when I'm watching a movie and a guy just comes in and sweeps a girl up in his arms, that HURTS!  I want it to happen to ME!

 

When I'm shopping with friends and they want to go to Old Navy or Rue 21 or Aeropostle, THAT HURTS!  I try not to let it.  I truly DO want to be happy for them and not make them feel bad for me...but I can't shop there. 

 

Other people are posting vacation pictures from the beach and they look great in a bathing suit and look so happy wearing shorts or cute skirts, holding their shoes in one hand and their husband's hand with the other, walking into the sunset...and it HURTS!  Because we've never done that!  I want that.

 

So, I will continue to dream.  And continue to pursue my dreams.  And ask for God's help in making them become reality for me.