Party - Hard

No, I'm not talking about partying hard!  I'm talking about parties being hard...to attend.

Today was my first real "test" and I'm not sure I passed. 

I don't think I failed, necessarily, because I was very conscious of the things that I was putting on my plate. 

And when it came to choosing a plate, I actually went for the small cake plate instead of the big dinner plate that was sitting there.

I stayed away from the sweet dessert stuff, tried to take only enough to amount to one bite of each thing that I put on my plate.

Until I took that bite of the warm onion/cream chees dip that someone made.

Oh. My. Goodness.

And then I kept finding myself dipping one Wheat Thin cracker, eating it and walking away.  Two times.  Three times.  Oh my word, what is wrong with me?  This is ridiculous! 

And I just wanted to leave the baby shower early because I couldn't stop thinking about that stupid dip!

Seriously?  I can't look around and try to find a conversation to get into instead of standing by this table and looking longingly at that dip like I would look at a window display at my favorite clothing or shoe store?

I finally decided that the only way I was going to conquer this was to just go to the other room, even if it meant sitting by myself, which I didn't have to do because there were others around. 

But it was the room where they were cutting the cake!  Man, I just can't get a break!

I did have cake.  A piece so small that it was gone in just 3 small bites.

Yes, I counted them.

Was it worth it?  No, because I had a headache from the sweetness of the icing by the time I got to the van.

But I came away from there with both a sense of accomplishment AND disappointment in myself.

I was proud that I had used the smaller plate, took tiny portions, didn't eat the sweet stuff from the buffet.

Disappointed in how I'd acted about that dumb dip!  And wishing I had just passed on the cake.

But back to the title of the blog...will it ever be easy to go to a party?  What can I do next time to avoid the pitfalls I fell into this time? 

I don't think food will ever lose it's total grip on me; at least that's how I feel today.  But I am praying fervently that I can step further and further from the buffet table and feast on conversation and fellowship more and more. 

But for now, parties are hard.